How to Help Your Child to Become His or Her Ideal Self

Alex Cross: You do what you are Jezzie.

Jezzie: You mean you are what you do.

Alex Cross: No, I mean you do what you are. You’re born with a gift. If not that, then you get good at something along the way. And what you’re good at, you don’t take for granted. You don’t betray it.

Jezzie: What if you do betray your gift?

Alex Cross: Then you betray yourself. That’s a sad thing.

–Along Came a Spider

As my oldest child prepares to graduate from high school I sensed she was trying to figure out the right things to say when people asked her, “What are you doing after high school?”  As the college application deadlines drew closer I could see the stress in her eyes. She was trying to pick a major that would please her parents. Her struggles made me realize that we needed to have talk about her future and her gifts. I wanted her to understand that ultimately she needs to figure out what she is called to do.

As a parent, I want my daughter to live the life she was called to live. It is not about my desire as a father for her to become a doctor, an engineer, or some other high profile professional. My only expectation is that she pursues her purpose and lives her life to its fullest potential. I want her to take all the gifts, skills, and enthusiasm that she has been blessed with and use them in a way that honors God and does not betray her potential.

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